I’m going to be blunt. You CAN NOT have it all. Nope. Not possible.
Do you feel burnt out trying to be ‘perfect’ at everything?
Are you still searching for the elusive ‘work/life balance’?
I’m going to bust the 4 biggest myths I hear clients getting stressed about in regard to the so-called having it all. So sit back, enjoy and give yourself a break.
MYTH 1: The myth of work/life balance.
This has to be the biggest myth of all. Work/life balance does not exist. I’ll say it again. Work/life balance does not exist. Life is rarely, if ever, perfectly balanced. Sometimes work will take the biggest piece of you. Sometimes your kids will. If you’re lucky, sometimes self care will. We always wish we had an extra hour to ourselves or with the kids or to finish that report.
What’s important is knowing your big picture and where your focus is right now, in this moment. Maybe it’s about being totally unplugged and present with the family at weekends and working like a demon during the week. Or working late 2 nights a week and being home in time for bedtime stories on other days. There is no perfect work/life balance. What you can find is a system that works for you and your circumstances right now. So give up the need for perfect balance on a daily basis and look at the bigger picture and ask where you need to adjust for where you’re at right now. And know it’s not forever and will change as life moves on.
MYTH 2: The myth of being able to do it all.
Here’s the reality – there are only 24 hours in a day. And you are being pulled in multiple directions. You simply can’t do it all. At least not all right now. As any athlete who competes in multiple sports will tell you – when you have a big race coming up you need to focus on THAT race. If it’s a marathon, time needs to be spent building stamina, not cycling or practicing your sprints.
Make sure you have your short, medium and long terms plans. Sure, you can build that fancy new website for your business – but trying to do it the very month the kids start new schools, the in-laws visit and you jet off to that week-long conference, will only lead to a new level of crazy. Maybe the new website has to wait until next month. Or maybe the conference does. (I’d like to say maybe the in-laws can wait but…)
Make sure you are strategic. Decide what the most important and/or urgent task is this month. Plan the rest for a later date, when you have a better chance of getting it done. And let the rest go. For now. It’s liberating.
MYTH 3: The myth of finding your ‘calling’ and then everything will flow to you.
"Find your bliss." " Just be in the zone." "Do what you were put on this earth to do." "Share your unique gift."
All great advice. And even if you’re lucky enough to find your calling – you still have to put in the work. Often hard work, with long hours and late nights. And sometimes you’ll feel like you’re treading quicksand. It definitely won’t feel like anything is flowing, except perhaps away from you.
If you’re lucky enough to find your calling* (insert bliss, zone, unique gift, as you prefer), at least you’ll know you’re treading that quicksand for a good reason. But have no doubt, you will have to put in the effort.
MYTH 4: The myth of getting organized and focused and you'll get everything done.
I don’t know what universe others live in, but in my life sh*t happens. Kids get sick, parents decide to visit, clients throw me a curve ball. It isn’t about being focused and single-minded. It’s actually more about remaining flexible and keeping your end goal in sight. If you don’t know the end goal, you won’t know which way to flex when life catches up with you. If you have to take a detour, at least make sure it’s one heading in roughly the right direction. Yes, staying focused on what you are doing in that moment is a great skill (oh look – squirrels….) so long as you can also flex and adjust to life as it happens real-time.
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Until next time, honey and blessings.
Gain the Knowledge, Take the Action, Live the Results.